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In our Mental Health Carer Workshop “The Power of Personal Boundaries”, we discuss a very important topic, the power of saying ‘no’. This one small word can pack quite a punch and understandably, we sometimes find it difficult to utter this word. Too often we feel like we have to say ‘yes’ and end up over-committed, stressed and resentful. And many times this is a direct result of never being taught how to hone this very handy skill. Saying ‘no’ is definitely a skill worth learning and practising. It’s worth noting that often times when we say yes to other people, we’re saying no to ourselves. But why and to what end? While it can seem easier to say yes, this can sometimes be not only unfair to ourselves, but to the other person. Your time is important and respecting yourself sometimes will mean you have to say no. Putting yourself first is not something to feel guilty about; it’s merely a matter of learning the skills and practising it. If you remain unconvinced, how about thinking of your ‘yeses’ as a commodity? Your yes should mean something – it should be special and the less you give them out,

Christmas is a challenging time for Carers, for many it can be overwhelming, stressful with mixed emotions such as anxiety, love and sadness. Some family members that you don’t often see until Christmas time may find it difficult to understand the complexities of a mental illness, which could lead to loved ones feeling rejected. What’s important is that your loved one is reassured that their mental illness is not their fault, it’s not who they are and not a sign of personal weakness and, particularly in at this festive time to be themselves and have fun. Talk to those friends and family who want to be understanding and compassionate and share the following with them, it will be useful for you too. How to cope with difficult behaviour Don’t try to defend yourself It is better not to force decisions When responding, use “I” statements Acknowledge their experience as being real for them Be respectful and avoid confrontations When they are in pain, they may want to hurt others as much as they are hurting Try to discontinue the discussion without damaging the person’s self-esteem Carers often respond to requests for help from the person they care for by instinctively