If you’ve ever been on a plane, you’ll know that there’s a moment before take-off where the flight attendants take you through the safety message. It is made clear that when those oxygen masks fall from the ceiling, you are to put on your own mask before helping your dependants with their masks.

Why? Because there’s no point trying to help someone else when you haven’t got access to oxygen yourself.

Being a part or full-time carer is the same thing. You need to ensure that you are taking care of yourself before you can be of any use to others.

But how do you do this?

All too often we get caught up in the day to day running of life for our loved one and it seems easier to put our needs at the bottom of the list. Time, energy and motivation are used as excuses for not doing anything for ourselves.

No-one can pour from an empty cup, so we’ve put together five ways you can start taking care of yourself and including yourself in the picture:

1. Schedule Time In For Yourself

We can see you rolling your eyes already, but we’re serious. Put it in your calendar and make it happen. If your loved one had an appointment, you would make sure they got there wouldn’t you? Of course you would! Well the same considerations should be afforded to yourself.

Block out time to go for a walk, have a swim, have coffee with a friend, get to the gym, visit the library or go to a movie and stick to it. If you can’t commit to a long time, then make it a short time. Work up to extra time.

2. Get Enough Sleep

Most of us need between 7 – 9 hours of sleep a night to function at our best. If you’re ending the night with a solid session of screen bingeing and not switching off the screen until the wee small hours of the morning, chances are you’re not functioning at full capacity the next day. Get to bed at a decent time, and don’t watch too much screen beforehand.

3. Say ‘Yes’ To Help

Accepting help can be hard for some of us. Sometimes there’s an internal belief that we should (somehow) do all of this ourselves. We think it’s a sign of weakness if we ask for or accept help, but the opposite is true. Accepting help, and even asking for help is a true sign of strength. Be strong and reach out!

4. Don’t Be So Hard On Yourself

This is important. Give yourself a break. Being a carer means that there will be days when you question everything you’re doing, feeling sorry for yourself and then feeling guilty you’re feeling sorry for yourself. Stop it. You’re human. You’re doing a great job and this is just a moment in time. Take a breath and give yourself a break.

5. Contact Arafmi For Assistance with Supported Accommodation

You knew this was going to be on the list didn’t you? This is what we’re here for. If you need a break and the person you care for has an NDIS package, then they may qualify to access our short and long-term accommodation solutions. You’re not alone – we are here to help and you can contact us on 07 3254 1881 for more information.

What have we missed? If there are other strategies you use, we’d love to hear them! Email them to us at leannehardcastle@arafmi.com.au and we’ll add them to the list.

Arafmi Staff

Meet the Carer Gateway Team: Sue from the Sunshine Coast

“I’m actually on your team.” Meet Sue, supporting mental health carers on the Sunshine Coast. “The person that you care for has a whole team of people around them, but I’m actually on your team.” It’s a sentence Sue comes back to often because she’s seen what happens when a carer hears it for the first time. Every day at the Sunshine Coast Carer Gateway Hub, people caring for a family member, partner or friend living with mental health challenges walk through the door looking for support. For Sue, it often starts with something simple: a smile, a cup of tea and a place to sit. Ask Sue what she loves most about her work, and her answer isn’t what you’d expect. It’s seeing the moment someone realises they don’t have to carry it all on their own. “It probably comes right back down to the look on somebody’s face when they realise that they’ve got somebody on their side and that they can be whoever they want to be. And we’re not going to judge them, we’re just going to try and support them the best way we can.” Putting carers back at the centre Most people walk through

July 3, 2026 No Comments

Carer Story

From carer to lifeline: The Queensland volunteers helping others mental health carers

From carer to lifeline: The Queensland volunteers helping other mental health carers For Arafmi volunteer Louise Dutton, when her son became unwell with mental ill-health, she “didn’t really know what she was dealing with.” That’s where her connection with Arafmi began, not as a volunteer, but as a carer trying to make sense of something overwhelming, unfamiliar and at times isolating. Over time, that experience became something she could offer others. Now 82, she’s spent the past 25 years answering calls on the 24-hour Carer Support Line and sitting alongside carers in support groups. What she brings isn’t a set of answers, but a way of helping people feel understood. As she explains, “Listening plays a big part. And so you’ve got to find out where the person is coming from… sometimes the person is so stressed that they can go round and round in circles. You just try and pick out a few points and confirm, is that what you’re telling me? And then try and help them to understand that we know where they’re coming from because we’ve had a similar experience.” For carers reaching out, that recognition can be enough to help people feel more steady and

April 30, 2026 No Comments

No-One Can Pour From An Empty Cup: 5 Ways Carers Can Care For Themselves