personally preferred comms scaled

Did you know that there are five main ways of relating to other people? Here at Arafmi Ltd, we call them the “5 T’s”.

Briefly, they can be described in the following way:

  1. Talk: you like to express yourself with words.
  2. Task: doing things for other people is how you communicate.
  3. Time: spending time with people is how you relate to others.
  4. Touch: a tactile person will convey their message through touch.
  5. Things: giving of objects or gifts is another way to relate to others.

Similar to the five love languages, these describe ways in which we prefer to communicate and relate with others. Whilst we use all of these ways to convey a message, we do tend to favour only one or two. Similarly, others also tend to favour one or two of these styles.

Generally we like to give care and concern in the same way we prefer to receive it. Let’s take a mother for example. This mother may show her love for her family by completing tasks – lots and lots of tasks. Making the kids lunches, cooking dinner, doing the laundry etc. She would love it if her family, without being asked, did little tasks like washing the dishes or taking the garbage out.

Someone else may prefer spending time together doing fun activities with a friend. If however, the friends feels a closer friendship by giving and receiving gifts, then even though the friends care for each other, they may not recognise how much they care about each other because they express themselves differently.

Have a think about it. Which two do you think are your preferred methods? And what about those of your loved ones – which two do they prefer? And do these match up with yours?

It’s good to know your own preferred ways of relating so that you can tell others what you like. It’s also helpful to know how others prefer to care so that you know how to express your intention in the way that the other person recognises.

Understanding these five methods and being aware of how others communicate will go a long way to improving how we communicate with others.

We hope this blog has been helpful! If you’d like to share any examples where you’ve successfully used your understanding of the 5 T’s, please don’t hesitate to send them to us here.

Arafmi Ltd is a not for profit community organisation that has been providing quality services to the Queensland community for over 40 years. Our focus is to enhance the wellbeing of people with mental illness, their families, carers and volunteers.

 

 

Related Posts:

Website blog post headers
Mental Health

Volunteer Profile: Julie

Arafmi Volunteer Profile: Julie As part of National Volunteer Week (19–25 May), Arafmi Communications Officer Lilly Provenzano sat down with one of our volunteers, Julie, to reflect on her experience as a carer support group facilitator. Can you tell us a little about yourself as a Volunteer for Arafmi? I’m a 54-year-old Mum to 3 beautiful, strong women in their 20s. I’ve been a single Mum for 20 years and have only just been able to buy my own unit. I might have to work for another 30 years to pay it off, but it will all be worth it!!! What inspired you to volunteer with Arafmi as a support group facilitator? I had been coming to the New Farm meeting for approx. 7 years. The meetings had been run by Ailsa Whitehead for a very long time but unfortunately she lost her eyesight (in her early 90s) after having a stroke and was no longer able to facilitate. She had mentioned prior to the stroke that she could ‘fall off the perch’ at any time and wanted to know that her beloved New Farm group would continue without her at the helm. I fell into this role never thinking

Read More »
Helen BlogpostHeader
Mental Health

Volunteer Profile: Helen

Arafmi Volunteer Profile: Helen As part of National Volunteer Week (19–25 May), Arafmi Communications Officer Lilly Provenzano sat down with one of our volunteers, Helen, to reflect on her experience as a carer support group facilitator. 1. What motivated you to become a support group facilitator at Arafmi?I had been attending support groups for five to six years, participating as a carer myself. I was inspired. I have much admiration for them and observed the facilitators and staff clearly during this time. They were so clever and kind navigating big groups and people in trauma. The opportunity arose so I put my hand up. 2. Can you describe what typical support group sessions look like?Typically, they are varied in age, gender and circumstance. At my group, we see parents, serving long-term partners, sometimes both parents – different dynamics. Every support group session has an informal welcome, a check-in for newbies and then the more practical things like name badges. We welcome people, there are beverages. We do an Acknowledgement to Country.We spend time explaining the guidelines that the two-hour conversations operate under. We may talk about the time that every person gets to share – that there is no interrupting.

Read More »

Personally Preferred Ways Of Communicating – The 5 T’s

Skip to content